I think you’ll know how it feels like to be down sometimes… Well, I’m kinda in that right now, and I really want to spill because I hope it makes me feel better. I know people read this, and maybe that makes me feel better. I’m not going into detail what’s bugging me, because the people who know me know what it’s about (the obvious…). These last few months hasn’t been so great. I keep on going through the same problems everytime, and just when I feel better I am pulled back to my dark, cynical thoughts. It’s not a big problem when compared to something like a hunger crisis, and that’s also bugging me. Because I keep on whining on and on to myself about the same thing, and it doesn’t get me anywhere. But it’s so hard to turn it around, because nobody has an answer. Well, people DO have answers, but those are the cliche answers that I always hear. And I also feel like a spoiled young woman, because I have a great life. Being a teenager wasn’t easy for me, because I didn’t have (m)any friends at high school but somehow I turned it around. I started studying, got a room in Utrecht, became a member of a student’s union and got the life I wanted. And I do realize that I live the life that I wanted at 17. And that is the point where I get angry at myself. I have this amazing life, and I don’t appreciate it. I’m one of the few people living on this planet, who actually has enough money, a good family life and great friends. So I feel like I don’t have the right to even feel bad…
The only thing I can do, is to turn to God. I feel He’s with me when I feel down, but I’m afraid that I’m staying in this mood too long and I just have to let God pull me out of it. I think you’ll recognize the feeling of not wanting to be pulled out of this down mood, because makes you feel so good. It’s just easiest to just feel down and don’t pull yourself out of it.
Thank you’ll for reading this. I may sound like a typical drama queen, but this is how I feel…
Love,
DutchGirl
Sanne hun!!! It`s ok to feel bad. Everybody does sometimes!
But I know how you feel. If you live a great life it can feel like you don`t have any right to feel bad and to be sad about the things that bother you. But the things you feel are real and they ARE there, so you have to deal with those feelings, putting them away isn`t helping. Man, how I sound like a therapist now…
It`s ok if you feel bad for a few days but do try to come out of it!! Cry out to God, pray that He might give you a focus on Him, He loves you. Ask Him to show you that and that you might see it in your life. He`s all around you, He always listens to you, He watches your every move, He knows exactly how you feel. Let Him comfort you, your feelings are real to Him. Don`t let those dark moods trouble your days, share your trouble with God instead and be free.
Hear the first song of this video, it`s a kind of a random drawing video but the song makes me so happy. Turn on the volume and dance around your room for a minute (you actually can, I have to close the curtains first, lol)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5BJR6_qmSM